5 Tips on How to Fail in Interviews
If your goal is to make a truly negative impression and ensure you do not get the job, follow these five tips:
1. Do Zero Preparation and Act Disinterested
Failure Strategy: Don’t bother looking up the company, the role, or even the interviewer’s name. Show up late (or barely on time), yawn a few times, and ask, “So, what exactly does this company do?” When they ask you a question, give the shortest, most generic answer possible.
Why it Fails: This instantly signals a profound lack of enthusiasm, respect, and professionalism. It tells the employer you view their company as a temporary stopgap and that you don’t value their time.
2. Focus Only on What You Want
Failure Strategy: Spend the entire interview talking about your salary demands, desired vacation time, and how the company’s hours inconvenience your personal schedule. When they describe a company challenge, immediately jump in and ask, “But how will that benefit me?”
Why it Fails: Interviewers are looking for people who can solve their problems. By making the conversation entirely self-centered, you fail to demonstrate any value you could bring to the team, making you seem entitled and a potential culture drain.
3. Badmouth All Your Former Employers
Failure Strategy: Use your past experience questions as a chance to vent about your previous bosses, coworkers, and company policies. Refer to your former employer as “incompetent,” “toxic,” or “a joke.”
Why it Fails: This is a massive red flag. It suggests you lack discretion, can’t handle conflict professionally, and will likely talk poorly about their company if hired. A good interviewer knows that a high-character professional takes the high road.
4. Answer Every Question with an Unrelated, Lengthy Monologue
Failure Strategy: When asked a simple question like, “Tell me about a time you showed leadership,” start by discussing your childhood pet, then pivot to an hour-long story that never actually answers the prompt. Use excessive jargon incorrectly to sound smart, even if it makes no sense.
Why it Fails: This demonstrates a lack of focus, poor communication skills, and an inability to listen. The interviewer will quickly lose patience and conclude that you cannot communicate effectively or synthesize information.
5. Present Yourself Inappropriately
Failure Strategy: Dress in clothing that is either extremely casual (a stained t-shirt, pajamas) or completely inappropriate (a costume, heavy club attire). For a virtual interview, take the call from your bed while eating a messy sandwich and leave your camera off, using a profile picture of a cartoon cat.
Why it Fails: While dress codes vary, presenting yourself poorly indicates a lack of respect for the formal setting and the company’s culture. It shows you didn’t put in the minimal effort required to make a positive first impression.